A lot of people from countries far and wide have been recently asking:
"How come people from Drunkendancistan are so damned cool? I mean, those guys can do anything! Moonwalk, poppin, ANYTHING."
Well I have an answer. It's our childrens TV. We here are a progressive society and only let our (inner) children watch fantastic 80's childrens TV. Like this.
I think that is answer enough. I mean, wouldn't YOU have grown up awesome if you had had the chance to see such things as a chisler?
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Sunday is Zooday.
El Presidente, The Minister for Interior and Stuff, and The General went to...
THE ZOO!
It was super fantastic planetary. One of the first things we saw was the noble Tiger, an amazing creature of strength and MAJESTY. It is like a living beard I guess, truly majestico! It roared a bit but generally looked insane. It also stared hard at El Presidente, perhaps recognising the inherent majesty in our noble leader! Or it was hungry, It was hard to tell.
Next on our trip were the monkeys! Our own little monkey, a species native to Drunkendancistan only, practiced the FACES OF COMMUNICATION. We thought that maybe we could recruit some spies, but apparently the monkeys were a bit dumb. This is our monkey making the "Excited" face!
And then we were back in big cat territory. With the Liopard Sneachta! Thats right, not only does a brief trip to the zoo give you a degree in Zoology, you also learn some very difficult Irish. I will leave you to guess in the comments section the Irish for Chimpanzee and Giraffe! Anyways, here is the snow leopard sign. The snow leopard was pretty far away.
ORANGUTANG! Smelly ginger monkeys. I got on with these guys like long lost friends. Perhaps my Ginger beard helps? I cannot tell for sure. I did get to shout "YOU'VE BEEN ORANGUTANGOED"when the thing went nuts and tore a dudes hat right off his head.
From there it was onwards and upwards, as they say in the business of Zoology. Mountain Zooology. Or maybe Marine Zoology when they are on a deep sea dive and coming up for air? I do not know for sure, maybe we can ask Mister Minister of the Interior and Stuff (aka King of the Spas of Zoology)? Yes. Maybe.
Hmmm. Where was I? Oh yes. The NEXT animal I want to show you is our own little monkey playing on the slides! Oh boy did she have fun! Until she got stuck... Half way down. The folk from Dublin Fire Brigade WERE NOT HAPPY when we had to call them to rescue her. :-(
We were heartbroken that the WHEEEEEEE! was so abruptly broken. Poor little monkey...
WHAT IS THIS! It is a goddamn RHINO. Thats what I, as a military guy, was here to see. Oh yes. Although, the Persian Army that attempted to invade Greece had these guys as WAR RHINOS, Sparta STILL won. There is a lesson there somewhere. When I see the film 300 I will let you know what it is. Anyways, here is the big bad rhino dude. Also a hippo.
Then we saw something that reminded us of our Loyal Court Jester. It was ASIAN. It was FEMALE. And I truly feel that the Court Jester would seriously consider her KAWAII!!
You know, the day was pretty cold. SO the ZEDbras were inside, under the heat lamps. I thought I saw them shiver, but El Presidente said it was an optical illusion because ZEDbras are stripey! Anyways, here is the photo.
So we moved on. To the highlight of the day for El Presidente and The Minister of the Interior and Stuff. PENGUINS. We were there for maybe seven hours I guess. It was ages anyway. The things can't even fly! Whats so great about them?
Well after the penguins, we came across the greatest metrosexual of them all, the Peacock. Even David Beckham would be ashamed by this guys extravagance. Well... He would have been... This guy was shy!
Don't worry! Hang in there! There is not much more to go. As a treat, here is perhaps the most laid back and cutest guy of the whole day. Red Panda asleep on a log. What a hero. The Red Panda is now the official mascot of Drunkendancistan. This guy was asleep because he was partying ALL NIGHT you guys. The keeper told us so.
Then there was a bit of an emergency! We lost the Minister of the Interior and Stuff! It was a terrible time! However, El Presidente had a plan. "Let us go to the Wishing Chair and wish we knew where she was"!
Suddenly inspiration struck! Maybe she would be at the Lost Child hut? As they say BINGO! It was kind of weird. All the lost people were behind a fence, and if you knew one of them you had to call out their name. Then the lost person had to put uo their hand or you couldn't take them! Weird!
Then before we left the Minister for the Interior and Stuff wanted to thank the wishing chair for all it's help.
And that was the end of the ZOO!
However! That was not the end of the day, OH NO. We met both the Ambassador for Mehico and Mister Minister for the Interior and Stuff (aka King of the Spas of Zoology) for dinner and a movie. It was ROSEMANTICS. Note that our Mascot, the Red Panda, is having a nice chat with the Ambassador. Probably about bourbon.
And that was that for a lovely wonderful day. Yay!
THE ZOO!
It was super fantastic planetary. One of the first things we saw was the noble Tiger, an amazing creature of strength and MAJESTY. It is like a living beard I guess, truly majestico! It roared a bit but generally looked insane. It also stared hard at El Presidente, perhaps recognising the inherent majesty in our noble leader! Or it was hungry, It was hard to tell.
Next on our trip were the monkeys! Our own little monkey, a species native to Drunkendancistan only, practiced the FACES OF COMMUNICATION. We thought that maybe we could recruit some spies, but apparently the monkeys were a bit dumb. This is our monkey making the "Excited" face!
And then we were back in big cat territory. With the Liopard Sneachta! Thats right, not only does a brief trip to the zoo give you a degree in Zoology, you also learn some very difficult Irish. I will leave you to guess in the comments section the Irish for Chimpanzee and Giraffe! Anyways, here is the snow leopard sign. The snow leopard was pretty far away.
ORANGUTANG! Smelly ginger monkeys. I got on with these guys like long lost friends. Perhaps my Ginger beard helps? I cannot tell for sure. I did get to shout "YOU'VE BEEN ORANGUTANGOED"when the thing went nuts and tore a dudes hat right off his head.
From there it was onwards and upwards, as they say in the business of Zoology. Mountain Zooology. Or maybe Marine Zoology when they are on a deep sea dive and coming up for air? I do not know for sure, maybe we can ask Mister Minister of the Interior and Stuff (aka King of the Spas of Zoology)? Yes. Maybe.
Hmmm. Where was I? Oh yes. The NEXT animal I want to show you is our own little monkey playing on the slides! Oh boy did she have fun! Until she got stuck... Half way down. The folk from Dublin Fire Brigade WERE NOT HAPPY when we had to call them to rescue her. :-(
We were heartbroken that the WHEEEEEEE! was so abruptly broken. Poor little monkey...
WHAT IS THIS! It is a goddamn RHINO. Thats what I, as a military guy, was here to see. Oh yes. Although, the Persian Army that attempted to invade Greece had these guys as WAR RHINOS, Sparta STILL won. There is a lesson there somewhere. When I see the film 300 I will let you know what it is. Anyways, here is the big bad rhino dude. Also a hippo.
Then we saw something that reminded us of our Loyal Court Jester. It was ASIAN. It was FEMALE. And I truly feel that the Court Jester would seriously consider her KAWAII!!
You know, the day was pretty cold. SO the ZEDbras were inside, under the heat lamps. I thought I saw them shiver, but El Presidente said it was an optical illusion because ZEDbras are stripey! Anyways, here is the photo.
So we moved on. To the highlight of the day for El Presidente and The Minister of the Interior and Stuff. PENGUINS. We were there for maybe seven hours I guess. It was ages anyway. The things can't even fly! Whats so great about them?
Well after the penguins, we came across the greatest metrosexual of them all, the Peacock. Even David Beckham would be ashamed by this guys extravagance. Well... He would have been... This guy was shy!
Don't worry! Hang in there! There is not much more to go. As a treat, here is perhaps the most laid back and cutest guy of the whole day. Red Panda asleep on a log. What a hero. The Red Panda is now the official mascot of Drunkendancistan. This guy was asleep because he was partying ALL NIGHT you guys. The keeper told us so.
Then there was a bit of an emergency! We lost the Minister of the Interior and Stuff! It was a terrible time! However, El Presidente had a plan. "Let us go to the Wishing Chair and wish we knew where she was"!
Suddenly inspiration struck! Maybe she would be at the Lost Child hut? As they say BINGO! It was kind of weird. All the lost people were behind a fence, and if you knew one of them you had to call out their name. Then the lost person had to put uo their hand or you couldn't take them! Weird!
Then before we left the Minister for the Interior and Stuff wanted to thank the wishing chair for all it's help.
And that was the end of the ZOO!
However! That was not the end of the day, OH NO. We met both the Ambassador for Mehico and Mister Minister for the Interior and Stuff (aka King of the Spas of Zoology) for dinner and a movie. It was ROSEMANTICS. Note that our Mascot, the Red Panda, is having a nice chat with the Ambassador. Probably about bourbon.
And that was that for a lovely wonderful day. Yay!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Meet the People of Drunkendancistan!!!
El Presidente
Our Presidente has a great sense of humour which is why the people like her so very much. She has been quiet of late, choosing to not drink for the month of November but Friday sees the return of El Presidente to full form. She is a wine conisseur, likes a good pint of Guinness or 5, won't drink just any beer and makes a mean cosmo. Dancing? well theres only one better in the whole of Drunkendancistan. Signature move...like a CAT!!!
Minister for the Interior and stuff
Second in command and best dancer in the 'Stan, Tonto makes sure the daily running of country and also ensure at least one person is the country is drunk and/or dancing. She will drink just about anything, except cider, but in particular loves beer. Loves beer. Beers in big glasses. Glasses so big she can hardly hold them sometimes and maybe sometimes might drop them. Tonto was born dancing.
The General
The Baron is responsible for the saftey welfare and general protection of Drunkendancistan, despite his attempted mutiny on the Presidente earlier this year while on a foreign affairs reconnaissance mission in Australia. He is a black belt in pinching and saluting. He drinks beer. Beer Beer beer. And is also partial to shots of pineapple juice. Hardcore. And dances at any given oppurtunity.
Ambassador for Mehico
Juanine is as religious as her home nation going to mass every Sunday. Taking days off work to go on holy days. Well this is what she tells her employers. As well as being ambassador to Mehico, she also dabbles in other international relations. She like beer but loves JD. Try and take it away from her and feel the wrath of JUANINE!! She doesn't dance much but thats ok....someone has to keep an eye on the bags.
Court Jester
Simon likes a sausage every now and then but is only just managing to use a knife and fork. He learned this while on a relations mission to Australia with the General. His drink of choice is Cider, apple or mixed berry as long as someone else is buying. His style of dancing is bopping, with some hand movement but only when the moment takes him. Like when CSS is playing.
Minister for Candy
Ms Lovebug Monks is always on the campaign trail, bringing sweets and chocolate to the people. She'll drink just about everything thats put in front of her, but her particualr favourite is wine. Red Wine. She used to be a Bulmers girl but soon came to her senses. She dances even when shes sleeping.
Official?!
Well, not yet. Not until El Presidente approves it. Only time will tell if she will. Basically the Citizens of Drunkendancistan needed somewhere to put photographic evidence of fun.
This is it. Updates might not be frequent but they will be super fantastic. Starting with the ZOO.
Tomorrow though. It is late right now. So very late and so very damp.
This is it. Updates might not be frequent but they will be super fantastic. Starting with the ZOO.
Tomorrow though. It is late right now. So very late and so very damp.
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